Let me start by saying that no one parents exactly like I do. That is probably good. Honestly, I probably fuck up from time to time. All that said, even with my ego - I'm pretty damn good as a parent. No lie. But in the last 24 hours or so I realized that I REALLY look at parenting different than some people.
My view is pretty basic really; get these little humanoids ready for life on their own. That is pretty much it. Life on their own, don't kill 'em first. Yep, that is it. Emphasis on the first of course. So, with that in mind (that and the fact that I have seven of these small humanoid forms... ok, some aren't so small anymore...) they are expected to show some independence pretty early on.
I was seriously challenged over last night and early this morning to realize that my parenting is THAT far off from some. Yes, we had overnighters. My son's overnighter. No problems. Didn't even really know the kid was here. He fit in like the second son I didn't get to have. Son had a great time. Yeah, son! (yes, they have been watching Suite Life reruns during these HOT days... sadly)
My newly turned 8yr old daughter's overnighter however... WOW! She ran the gamut! Rude, check. Disrespectful, check. Played exclusion games with siblings, check (including shutting one out of her own room and locking the same one out of the house). TOTALLY FUCKING CLUELESS, check, Check, and DOUBLE FUCKING CHECK. She was seriously stressing my self constraint levels - unwittingly, of course. From asking when we would have ice cream, SIX FUCKING TIMES. The first when others were still eating dinner! (The best part is when I served the ice cream she didn't even eat it) Then to tattling that the four year old hit her with a balloon and it "hurt!" REALLY?!? Weird, fucking shit! Um, I mean, "Is there blood? No? Ok, you're not hurt then." To the creme-de-la-creme, being totally and completely helpless.
Ok, maybe I am a bit extreme...
The girl didn't take her empty plate or bowl to the sink except this morning when prompted 3x to "Please take care of your bowl." Despite being told where to find the glasses and the water, she didn't seem capable of getting herself a glass of water. The same holds true with breakfast. Really? Here are the bowls, here is the cereal AND you just watched my four year old, you know some one who is HALF YOUR FUCKING AGE get herself a bowl of cereal and you are still staring dumbfounded... really?
My screen went blank, like the early Windows blue screen - DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE... WINDOWS IS SHUTTING DOWN, WINDOWS IS SHUTTING DOWN! (slowly, and painfully, of course)
Do these parents really think they are doing themselves any favors by doing everything for her?!? Um, one, they are doing everything and two, WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE GOING TO DO WHEN SHE GETS OUT ON HER OWN?
Yeah, yeah. Ya all think that I've gone a little ape shit batty over a minor thing. Maybe. But I can tell ya - my kids can get their own breakfast at 4, do their own laundry at 10 (or earlier) and will do just fine in college without momma there to hold their hand. My kiddos are gonna be heads and shoulders over most and leave 'em eating their dust. My kiddos are smart, they are thinkers, and they can fend for themselves! How-a-bout yours?
